Guru

Everyone’s a guru these days: make-up, hair, dieting. I’m one, too.

I’m a procrastination guru.

I am an expert. The majority of my school career was spent waiting until the last minute to do anything. My most impressive one is when I completed a paper–from research to final draft–in eight hours, and received a perfect mark. Not to brag, but, y’know, I’m qualified.

The problem with procrastination is that it only works with a deadline. When you don’t have one, it becomes laziness. Because procrastination implies that it will get done at some point. It has to be. There’s a due date. When there isn’t one, and you just keep putting it off and putting it off because, well, you can, then that’s just apathy.

You cannot be a a guru of laziness. There’s no skill involved with that. You are simply a victim of it. It overtakes any part of you that has the energy to accomplish something and it whispers those five destructive words: “you can do it later.”

And suddenly you’re watching a movie you’ve seen 800 times because it’s there and you don’t have to think about it.

I’m trying to fight my laziness. I want to accomplish things in my life. It’s hard to do that when I suffer from laziness. But I can fight back, the only way you can fight such a demon: actively. Which is why I’m trying to get back into blogging. Because in order to have something to blog about, I have to have accomplished something. You can’t talk about sitting in bed all day. I’ve learned from experience that that particular conversation thread is pretty short.

Don’t expect my accomplishments to be big. They won’t be. My only real rule is that they have to involve doing something that will contribute to my life in a positive way. So as accomplished as it may make me feel, finishing a season of a television series does not count.

Except maybe for Lost. That shit is complicated.

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About Anna

Lots of things make me happy. Running my mouth is one of them. Another is pie.
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