Category Archives: Idiotic Whining

The Whoosh of Defeat

In his posthumous book, The Salmon of Doubt, Douglas Adams wrote, “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” Which is very charming and witty and Adams-esque. And it annoys the hell out of … Continue reading

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The Sneezebang Saga

Once upon a time, I was a poor high school student. I didn’t have a lot of money, and what money I did have went towards important things like movie tickets and CDs (in those days, we still bought CDs). … Continue reading

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Holiday Stress Barbie

Man, when did buying Barbie dolls become stressful? I had to go shopping for two of my cousins, five and three, and I decided to get them Barbies. My reasoning behind this was, “Hey. They play with Barbies. I played … Continue reading

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Don’t You Want to Share the Guilt?

I work nights. On my way home, I pass a Dunkin’ Donuts. Sometimes, I stop in and get food. They’re efficient, they’re friendly, they remember your orders. Can’t ask for anything more. They were trying to serve everyone quickly, and … Continue reading

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Fruit Out of Context

There are cranberries in my chicken salad sandwich. They do not belong there. Cranberries have two only two places: jellied and in the shape of a can on a Thanksgiving table, or in juice form in a glass with vodka. … Continue reading

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