Category Archives: Story Time

The Phantom of the Elementary School

When I was in fifth grade, I got into a fight with a wall and lost. Badly. It wasn’t intentional, of course. We were playing tag, like you do in fifth grade, and the wall next to the girls’ bathroom … Continue reading

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That Time I Got Slapped by a Pigeon

One time, a pigeon hit me in the face. It was not awesome. It was an odd sequence of events. I had just gotten off the el. A pigeon was flying, looking for a place to land. He decided that … Continue reading

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Don’t Cry for Me

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery. If someone wants to pick up and move to your country, feel flattered. Someone thinks that your land is a land where the streets are paved with gold and their dreams can come … Continue reading

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I’ve Been Everywhere, Man

If the filmĀ Never Been KissedĀ has taught me anything, it’s that Hollywood believes the world is dumb enough to buy that both Drew Barrymore and David Arquette can pass themselves off as teenagers. It also taught me, “Write what you know.” … Continue reading

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In Which Our Hero Introduces Herself

Okay, so… first blog entry. My first impression, as it were. The chance to put forth my best self, because you don’t get a second chance at a first impression. Blergh. I hate first impressions. There’s so much pressure to … Continue reading

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